baby funeral upset what to do 1st child

baby funeral

baby funeral what do we want ? a question asked by a family member to the mum who had just lost her baby at only 24 weeks pregnant. “What do I want” the mum replied “I want my baby back . Its my first child why would I know what to do after she should have been with me . not gone too soon like this.” . A powerful statement but so true. You never dreamed your baby would be taken from earth like this. So arranging a baby funeral can often mean numbness for the immediate family effected.

Baby funeral, a way to say goodbye

We express our deep regret for your passing through the experience of losing a child. It is very normal after going through such an experience to feel sadness, pain, it is a very difficult time and we understand that the situation with all its consequences Often results in emotional distress. However, at this stage, you have to make several decisions regarding the separation from your child, funeral arrangements, and burial.

Below are some instructions and guidelines regarding burial arrangements, we hope that having all options will help you make the right decisions for you and your family. We recommend that you read the following instructions, in the hope that the information provided here will help you decide.

baby funeral arrangements advice

The following suggestions have no financial cost. These are gestures of love and tenderness that only take a little of your time. These are things you can do yourself.

What to say when a baby dies? Are there appropriate texts? How to speak? We offer you some suggestions before, during and after the funeral ceremony.

1.1- Gestures before the ceremony

– Doctors will usually let you have private moments together if you desire. During this time, you can hold the baby, take photographs, and collect keepsakes like locks of hair and fingerprints. 

– Arrange the place where you are going to place the baby (hospital chamber, funeral chamber, etc.) to personalize it (with stuffed animals, objects or photos, candles, plants, etc.).

– Ask to place your baby in the coffin yourself, to tuck it in.

1.2- For the ceremony or the tribute

  • Sing, pray… 
  • Carry the coffin. Carry the flowers behind the coffin at the exit of the place of ceremony.
  • Provide family and friends with a notebook to write messages or drawings for the deceased child. This notebook can be placed in the coffin, be buried in his sepulchre, or accompany him at the time of cremation. 

1.3 After the ceremony

Tell others that you are a mom or dad who has lost a baby. Do not hesitate to tell others that you want to talk about your child that it makes you feel good, that you need them, to know that they are there (those around you do not always know how to behave in that kind of situation and when in doubt they sometimes stay away or avoid talking about it).

hospitals and spiritual leaders can guide you through baby funeral arrangements. Learn about the ways you can say goodbye to your little one.


We know it’s painful, and we’re here to help”

Understandably, most people have no idea where to begin when planning a baby funeral. There is no requirement that a service is performed by a particular organization; the only requirement is that it honours your baby in whatever way best suits your and your partner’s needs. Let’s talk about some of the stuff you may want to include, such as music and readings, as well as tools that will help you cope with your loss.

  1. Steps in Planning a Memorial Service

Your first step is to decide whether you want a baby funeral or memorial service and then whether you want a traditional funeral or only a small gathering of a few people. The service can vary from a church service to a gathering at the graveside to spending a few moments in a garden. If you are having difficulty making a decision, try to think of what you want rather than what you believe is expected of you. It’s s important to note that there is no right or wrong way to handle this.

2.1- Choosing Music

Music is often a very comforting part of a baby funeral or memorial service and allows you to express feelings.

2.2- Choosing Readings

From inspirational readings to poetry, there are several selections which may help express your emotions.

3- Legal requirements

There are several forms you’ll need to complete before the baby funeral. These forms,

along with advice about funeral arrangements and the accompanying legal

procedures, can be obtained from a funeral director or Cemetery Authority.

3.1- TheDeath Certificate

The Extract of Death may not be automatically sent to you if your child was under 16 years of age. You can request an Extract be sent to you from the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages. It is free. If your child was 16 years or over, an Extract of Death is automatically sent to the person who completed the legal forms.

A full Death Certificate can be obtained for a fee.

 Grieving the loss of a baby can be a lonely experience, and it can be particularly difficult to get the help you need during this time of crisis. Do not hesitate to reach out. Several organizations can provide you with useful knowledge as well as emotional support. I’m also available to help and support you. Please do not hesitate to email me if you have any questions.

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